There is sex And then there is raw, intimate, knees wobbling sex if you have ever had the latter you will know and you wouldn’t want any less than that. How can a guy, a man come in and give you the sex that you have never had? Because you have only had sex and all of a sudden, this experience has totally changed the game for you and you want nothing less than the best. I used to think that vanilla was good enough for me. I didn’t always think that I could have even better sex than I was having. Sometimes ignorance is just bliss. So, in terms of sex, now that I have had that mind blowing experience of what happens. Well with me do I think, I want ignorance or do I want mind blowing sex? And mind blowing sex can make you do dumb things like text the guy even though he’s not interested. I ask myself "What am I doing?" The me with those red horns on her head responds "Oh, nothing, you know you just texted the guy that gave you mind blowing sex. Oh and did I mention that he’s coming over. Within 30 minutes!” I take a quick shower. I shave down there, shave my armpits and I smell clean and my hair smells nice. And I feel ready as I’m walking out with my towel wrapped around me, the bell rings. I look at my watch, oh shoot where is my watch? I looked at my phone and I looked at the time and I realized time has slipped by me. I spent too much time in the shower. The shower is one of my happy places the one place I can cry, the one place I think about every single aspect of life. So it’s not hard to let time slip when I’m in there. The doorbell rings again, second time and I’m like oh shit. I run to the door, open the door and there he is. All six foot two and those abs peeking through that tan caramel colored skin. That smirk, that smirk that knows what he can do. He takes a hungry look down at my body. And then I realize my hair is dripping wet and I’m in a towel. I was supposed to slip into a night gown and he looked at me and his eyes became lustful. He says, "Dang, you are ready for me." I stuttered for a moment and I’m like, "Wait, actually, I wanted to get into a nightgown." He says "We’re good." And picks me up like I’m a speck of dust into his arms, bridal style, gives me a smothering kiss. My brain just goes out the window, the kiss is possessive, hateful even, makes my whole face blush and all I want to do is just have him. Feel loved, and not lonely. Sometimes you just want to feel small. You just want to feel protected. And he did it all. And he made me feel comfortable. He made me feel beautiful and worshipped. How did this guy just know every single right button to press, he has me in his arms walks into the bedroom and this guy is not the soft, and gentle no he’s the rough and aggressive. He drops me on the bed and untangles me from the towel. With lustful eyes, goes down to my breasts and he starts sucking, first the left and then the right. He says, "you know you have the most beautiful breasts, just the right amount of color and just the right amount of plump and just the right amount of perky." He whispered in my ear softly I know, after he leaves I’m going to be sad and not like what I just did, but the amount of worshiping my body feels right now. So, so damn good sometimes just having that very experienced sexual partner tells you everything that you need to know about what you want next. So yes, I will be here. Smile at him like an idiot. Oooooh, he goes down with his fingers and touches me down there, so much professional angles, he knows exactly how to do it and just goes in certain motions, and I’m like how does he even do this? What is the secret? And he’ll never tell me and you know what? I’ll smile at him like an idiot. I look at him in such a lustful way. And I’m like, "dang" in my mind. I’m so sad that you won’t be here when I need you, because this type of guy. Most of them aren’t going to be here the next day. They’re here for fun. So fun is what we’re gonna do today, right now. I’ll let him ravage my body a few more times. And I know he’s leaving and I know I don’t see him as the family guy. And I know he’s not enough and right now, he’s everything my sexual pleasure needs. So he fingers me and he switches motions. And some of them are painful and some of them hurt. And I tell him, "not that one, and that and I tell him yesss that way." And he listens and he’s good at doing exactly as I say and pushes my boundaries in terms of sexual pleasure because I am the most vanilla person ever and then he asked, are you ready? I said, "You better put that condom on." and he says "what if I want to put a baby in you?" And I said, "you know, you’re not staying around" and he said, "Just the idea of being able to possess you in that way. Sends me into a frenzy." My eyes look into his and they lock and I can’t begin to explain to you the connection, the carnal instinct. I looked into his deep dark impenetrable gaze and I say "fuck me, daddy, fuck me hard. And fuck me like your life depends on it, put a baby in me daddy." He takes it out and he looks at me, eyes my body up and down slowly and greedily. And one thing he does not do is be gentle. He looks at his tool and then eyes me and a devilish grin appears. And I say "Be gentle." And all he can do is look at me one more time before the moment I look at him with disapproval. And the next second I’m screaming I’m yelling "Oooooow" the amount of sheer enthusiasm from my scream, he jolted alive at the amount of pain and sheer pressure and pleasure that scream brought him. His tool set my brain going into different directions. What if he did give me the baby? Would he stay, I have never wanted a baby. But now all I can think about is this man possessing me, owning me in that way. I looked at him with disapproval and pleasure, it didn’t make any sense. And I said 'I told you to be gentle" And he said "You know you liked it. I looked at him and a slow smirk came onto my face a curling one not sure to be mad or amused, and he smirks at me with a devilish grin. And he starts pushing in a rhythm and holds my glare, the amount of emotional connection is unbearable. I felt how I put my arms around his neck and the need I had for him was so great. He pulls out and shoves it back in and he’s very close to my face. And you know it hurts when he goes in that fast and is that close to me putting so much weight on me but I don’t complain because the sheer emotional pain in the draw, makes me need him even more. And he says "beg." A demand. I don’t hesitate I know exactly how he likes me to beg, "please daddy harder, drive it in, I need you now, go harder" I exclaim with unbearable enthusiasm and eyes closed with chest up "oh my gosh, yes just like that" the amount of sheer need the amount of moans that I would never moan for the sex of boringness none of this pleasure existed. I had went to a whole other place when people talked about not having sex before marriage I looked at him and I almost saw the devil coming at me because, I today am a sinner and sinning I will because I’m not the woman to wait and to have mediocre after I have had "you are making me dumb, sex bliss" he kisses me and I smile at him with the dumbest look after the kiss and I go in for more and I wrapped my arms even closer to him and get him closer. Really I don’t need to because the amount of heavy, and the connection, it’s all there. But what I want is to be even closer. I need him beside me. I need him. Everything. The amount of sheer loss of dignity is insane. I am a woman of power. I am a woman of need. I am a woman, a Queen. I exude power, but right now. All I want is this man. For this man to take control of my body and tell me what he wants to do to me and show me exactly how he can worship my body and I don’t ask how he knows because the mystery drives me we stare at each other intensely. The look of intensity is deafening, silencing and the emotional connection is just there. It’s like he sees into me and I see him, and I can’t see everything about him, the mystery drives my insanity and that’s what makes it so damn exhilarating. He gives me a quick kiss on the lips, then he flips me over and dives his tool into me I move into the position of doggy and he dives even harder, in and out. And then he pushed out and then shoved it into me even harder. I feel it so deeply. A long time ago I have always wondered if size matters and I have always thought size mattered. But with him with his confidence with how he knows the exact buttons to push the exact ways to touch me. Size doesn’t matter. He knows exactly what to do. And he will use the toys and he’ll know exactly how to make it happen. And I’ve had guys with enough to boot and make me cringe but no one’s made me scream as loud as he has and made me beg as enthusiastically as him. And I have never called a guy, “daddy.” Because I have never wanted them to own me like what he did to me, the want for him to stay to be the family guy is soo great. He reaches for my neck. He tightens his grip and moves my face to face him so I can kiss him. The sheer need the amount of want he has for me I know it’s all a play an act even but the amount of interests and the amount of sheer need for me makes me feel needed and desired he drives into me hard. G
oes out and drives it in really hard and I moan and groan then he takes it out and he puts a finger in and he goes at it and he knows exactly how to do it. He goes in and out and then he touches my clit and then he does it a few more times, just the same way. The intense action of how he can move his finger and how he can switch the position of how he moves his finger from front to back. I’m so dumbfounded I can’t even explain how he can do this maneuver, where he just has his finger in and then twists it. I don’t know what it is. It’s just a simple action. That just caresses all the angles in there and he makes his finger known. He makes his position known. I know tomorrow I’m gonna hurt and it’s not because he had the tool. No, he had the skill. His fingers made it known in my crevices. And I know for the next two to three days it’s gonna hurt because he made it known once more. After the mind numbing experience of the fingering I said “I need you right now.” In my plead, he kisses me. His tongue is

very possessive and he grabs my neck and tightens and he presses into me once more. And this time he goes at it and dives in harder and harder. And he doesn’t stop I’m at the brink and I’m in so much pleasure and pain. I don’t feel comfortable telling him to stop. Now I’m in so much pain that I really need him to stop. I tried to push him away and he says "I want it even more. Not yet." and is it even possible that he dives into even deeper and even harder and with even more pressure I’m not a screamer, I’m not a good moaner. But the sheer amount of moan scream combo that came out of my mouth. Is it even possible this guy has made me into a complete idiot, I try to beg, distracted by his skills momentarily, and then I tell him "come for me daddy. I need you in me right now." He kisses my earlobe and he gently bites and he looks at me he shoves hard in and out and then he stops, the amount of pain I am in down there. The amount of Oh my God, he stopped down there. I can’t explain it, how relieved I am at the moment of nothing, and then I feel it. The warmth and I don’t even have to look down to know and it was a lot. I felt very needed. I felt very desired. And I am hurting. I’m burning down there. In the next few days, I know if I touched down there it’s gonna hurt. And guess what? I don’t mind because the remembrance of him is good enough and I enjoy the he left his deeds on my body for the next few days. He goes in for a quick kiss and lays down and soon he grabs me into his hold and we just lay there in sheer bliss and it doesn’t feel like it but it’s been hours he looks at the time from his phone and he’s like, oh shoot, I need to go and then I realize the idiotic decision I did this isn’t a family guy. This isn’t a guy I will build an empire with. He’s just here for the fun to ravage my body and leave it raw. And the idiotic person in me just thinks I could get pregnant and he could forever be in my life, the baby daddy and then I could have that sex more than I could dream of. And you know what? The Queen in me stops myself because the possibilities are endless, I realize the future I am building doesn’t include some guy that came in to ravage my body and left me with the possibility of having his baby in me, and didn’t even care to wonder what could happen after. I watched him leave without a word, it spoke volume on his character, so I will spend the money for plan B and be vigilant and make sure I don’t get pregnant. Because I want to build a future with a family guy and if I have this guy’s baby I know I’ll never stop wanting him. What that guy had, and had given me was the knowledge of how sex could be. And now that I knew, I wasn’t going to go after him. Because he didn’t believe that I was worth it. And I was not going to lower myself to have his baby, to keep that in my life because I knew that I will only choose the guy that will treat me like a Queen and help me with my dreams and treat me just like that in bed so for once in my life he’s leaving getting out the door and he’s shutting the door and I leave it shut. I don’t text him back. Actually, I did text him back. I really wanted him to be the family guy and I realized no amount of me begging will change what he wants. And two people have to make it work. So, today, I realized I had a lot of fun with this guy. And my future husband will have that and even more. He will make every single thing, every single button in me roar this guy made my sexual pleasures known. But he didn’t make everything else in my life, added to so yes, I had fun. And yes, I lowered myself to that level and yes, I will have a lot of trauma from what he had done to my body. And you know what? I was dumb enough to let him but now that I know how much I could have in sex. I’m not willing to settle I will start voicing my opinions and what works best for me.